Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Sometimes I long for clarity..

My heart mourns for lost loves and aches with past sadness.  But then I wipe it all away and I feel a wonderful mess of freshness.  Theres a great feeling that comes with letting go and it never fails to amaze every fiber in my body every single time.  Life is so mysterious and not everyone is on the same level of overstanding. But when you find someone so open and real and overstanding appreciate it, respect it, reflect it.  The choices you make in life are jsut that choices and sometimes we dont know what to do. I for one, comprehend that not everyone does the right thing at the right time...and not everyone knows the answers.  Mistakes are the lessons in life, without them life would just be smooth sail straight through and noone would feel anything.  So I too make mistakes, I have made many in my life and learned a great deal of wisdom through quite a few of them.  Some I made more than once, some only once and never ever again...and some I am still making and still wading my way through to find the answer.  Life is ever so complicated but I believe everything youre given in life, you have the strength to handle. So finding clarity is almost impossible.  What is clarity? Clarity in what, life choices? Making amends on past regrets? On mistakes once made? Clarity in the direction of your life?  Cuz no matter how "clear" you think youre life is, the universe can up turn that at any time........ so how do we find "clarity" in life?  I think its a deep overstanding of yourself, from the outside in. And the overstanding that no one in life owes you anything or has any responsibility to make you happy. Everything comes from within, even your spouse is a reflection of you but still will never fully know what goes on within you. You are your own worst enemy and your own best friend simultanously. And to love oneself is the begining of a life long romance (Oscar Wilde).  To truly comprehand such things about life is to truly find clarity in life I believe, but even as a type this I know I have not reached that yet. The concepts are so complex and even now in the chaos of my life, I wonder how much longer I can stick around certain people and let them cloud my clarity.  Eventually I am gonna leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on (Tupac).

No comments:

Post a Comment