Monday, June 27, 2011

Passion vs. Security?!

So my friends and I are always in constant debate about life issues, recently it has been about love and relationships, specifically passion vs. security and the idea of someone (a lover, potential lover, past lover) making you “weak.”

My close friend is sittin on the fence about her long term relationship and whether its worth continuing or if the fire is dead and its time to move on. So she asks me an oh-so simple, yet incredibly complex question: What’s more important, passion or security (in a relationship)?! I don’t know why my friends insist on coming to me with such deep, philosophical questions especially regarding love and relationships when (by society standards) I don’t seem to be having any success in either departments. My answer came naturally though: passion. Why? Because security isn’t real. Security, especially in a relationship, is a figment of our imaginations. At the end of the day, you can only be grateful for who you have, appreciate lifes blessings as they are offered to you and feel the love surrounding you every day. Love doesn’t take orders, you cannot control it no matter how hard you try. Nobody owes you anything, instead they are choosing to share with you their life and you in return choose to share with them, for as long as you both concur. You cannot hold onto love or make it go away, it just is. Your only job is to trust, give and receive love and let go when the time is right. I cannot tell my friend whether her time is done with this love, only she can answer that. But I hope with all my heart she has the courage to trust the universe and do what her heart tells her - and to remember that the quality of your life is based on the journey, not the end result..

Passion however is one of the blessings that life offers you and allows you too experience. Passion cannot exist without love (in a relationship), nor can you control it, create it or hold onto it - you can simply feel it and appreciate it when its there. Allow the love and passion to penetrate your soul and pass through all the parts of your body, to your finger tips and toes, deep down in you heart, enrich your mind with positive thoughts. Passion is the reason the quote says “it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” It is a gift and we must not taint it with negative feelings that tend to form through an unwillingness to trust and let go at the end. One of my favourite quotes says love is as
perennial as the grass, so I say when you let go, you let love grow.

A different friend came to me with some news about a man she “has a weakness for,“ those were her words. She goes on to tell me she had to remove him entirely from her life, knowing that he is not right for her but unable to say no to him. Weakness is something you don’t want mixing with your passion and love. If a person makes you weak, they are taking away from you rather than enriching you, no? So even if that weakness seems inconsequential at the time, it should be viewed and reviewed as a reason to be cautious. Simply put, you don’t want a man to make you weak, you want a man to make you strongER. And it goes both ways, if you see a person is weak to you, its probably best you go in a different direction, at least for now. This seems to be an epidemic in our society these days; weak boys praying on weak girls and raising weak kids that repeat the whole damn cycle. However, everyone can experience this, even the seemingly strongest person you know. This is a topic I have not intellectually explored much yet so I will not write on it too much today but I am elated to once again feel that reassurance of my own trust in the universe, knowing that every experience is a learning experience.

I don’t have everyone’s answers, I can only search for my own meaning. To my friends, thank you and I love you. I cannot say this enough because in times of need you are always there to give me that boost of love and keep me grounded.  Bless you. I mean every word I say.  Cheers to a deeper love

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