Friday, June 18, 2010

I finally overstand..

That everything that has happened in my life was exactly what was suppose to happen.  The drugs, the abuse, the betrayal.... all horrible things at the time were blessings in disguise but we often have trouble seeing the sunshine through the rain at the present time.  But I knew from the moment that pregnancy test showed those two lines, no matter how many foolish people surrounded me I knew everything was gonna be okay..

I didnt overstand at the time the way of the world and how much easier life is when you give up your power to the power of the universe sometimes.  Thats where the quote "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" really comes to life.  I feel serene, courageous and wise. Thanks to the bullshit and turmoil I have been through. I used to try so hard to make things happen the way I wanted them to... but as soon as I began to let go of that, the universe took over and somehow I ended back on track. Even though I was on track the whole time, because that is what created my beautiful son who was always meant to be. I knew he was going to be from the moment I met my sons father.  All the BS aside, my son was conceived with true genuine love and passion and that is what he represents in the world now. He has a heart shaped birth mark over his right upper chest area....its like he has two hearts, one inside and one outside.

The drugs, the abuse, the betrayal were all present.  However, the uncondiontional love from my family and most importantly my friends overpowered all the negativity of people trying to bring to me and bring me down with.  My friends are the most important people to me in the world, after my son.  I have the upmost respect and love for my friends, and gratitude for them putting up with me at times! Lol.... I can be a difficult person but if I wasnt worth it, my life wouldnt be so rich with amazing people.  I feel so blessed to have who I have in my life.  And I thank each and everyone of them for being who they are. I dont need to name any names because they know who they are and I show them often that I appreciate them.  And I have the best friend anyone could ever ask for in the world. I love you all, even those few friends I have lost for now. You know who you are, I still feel your friendship even from far away.... Stay true to yourself and LOVE.

Saturday, June 12, 2010


"Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." 

If you rely too much on other peoples opinions, it can have a way of tainting your own view of yourself.  You are the only one who can know whats best for you and what makes you who you are.  Life has a way of unfolding exactly the way its suppose to..... however sometimes we, as human as we all are, think its going the wrong way.  If you are clean in your heart and pure in your thoughts then life will treat you fair, as far as the uncontrollable aspects of life go.   However, what goes around does come back around so be careful what you put out there.  I am, everyday of my life.

Words I feel, deep down.. to the deep part that burns with passion.

You know the one i'm talking about..
The place where music comes from..
The place where art comes from..
The place where your vision meets your intensity and becomes a passion.

The place where love lives.

"I believe that everything you do bad comes back to you. So everything that I do that's bad, I'm going to suffer for it. But in my heart, I believe what I'm doing is right. So I feel like I'm going to heaven." (Tupac Shakur)