From Miller to Ford.

I ran into to our mayor David Miller after work the other day.  I had met him once before but not quite as up close and personal as this time.  We chatted for awhile, mostly about Rob Ford.  If you dont already know Rob Ford will be our new mayor as of December 1st.  My mother says I am destined for politics....but I think its just because I am so opinionated and open with my opinions.  Truth be told, I actually hate politics.  However, IF I ever got involved with politics it would be in defence of our beautiful city we call Toronto.  Funnily enough, on my birthday back in the day I went skating with Babara Hall and was on the front page of our local newspaper with her.  I wonder what type of encounter I might have with Rob Ford. I cant imagine it being a pleasant one..

Bon Voyage Baby.

So my best friend finally left.  Her whole life she said on her 18 th birthday she was gonna jump out of a plane.... you know how we spent her 18th birthday? Yup, we spent it at the Skydiving School of Toronto up by Lake Simcoe..and as I waited on the ground for her to land with her parachute, I was so proud of her for sticking with her life plan.  Now she has left us as she said she would for Europe.  She is only going for a month but I am still gonna miss her soooo much and I am overwhelmed with pride and excitment for her and all her adventures to come.  She is going to Paris, Amsterdam, some other Dutch cities and is also stoping in Belgium somewhere and maybe even Italy.  Trust me to have shopping on my mind but I am lookin forward to her souviners from the LV Paris store ;) Above all, I hope she sees all that she wanted to and gets all the experiences she wanted from this trip....I hope she comes home fulfilled.

Through this experience I have gotten skype.  I never really had a reason for not getting it I just never really had a need for it.  But now as my friend travels to Europe I am in need.  We plan to skype while she is in a coffee shop in Amsterdam and she can show me what its like.  I tried it with the homie Faizel the other night, was suuper fun lol.  Skype name: karmacounts.

Halloween was goodtimes.  The pic is of my girl (the one going on the trip) and I, she was a pimp and I was well... you can see the pic (lets call it for the purpose of this blog "her other half").  I did not put this picture on facebook because it might be deemed "inappropiate" or just too hot for facebook.  But I dont mind putting it on here because I am not in the market for trying to appear appropiate or meet the social standards for any uptightrulemakers....for at the end of the day your opinions have no effect on my life, livlihood or self-concept.  With that being said, I also dont want to make any certain people uncomfortable on fb by showing them a photo that makes such a statement. A statement that perhaps makes them nervous or even intimidated or perhaps just makes them judge me (I have a love/hate respect for that becasue in one sense I like to make people uncomfortable and perhaps jump to unfair judgements based on boxed opinions or socially established boundaries because it forces them to think about the thoughts theyre thinking and in return reflect on themselves. But in another sense I think that sometimes their judgement may overpower the thinking and they might acutally think something less of me, not that it matters to me it is just a sad day for them when their own judgement defines them and they dont even realize). I also beleive in sexual empowerment and feminism, but thats a discussion for another day.

My girl put up a status today that made me think.  We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

True, no? Makes me wonder.

Sometimes I long for clarity..

My heart mourns for lost loves and aches with past sadness.  But then I wipe it all away and I feel a wonderful mess of freshness.  Theres a great feeling that comes with letting go and it never fails to amaze every fiber in my body every single time.  Life is so mysterious and not everyone is on the same level of overstanding. But when you find someone so open and real and overstanding appreciate it, respect it, reflect it.  The choices you make in life are jsut that choices and sometimes we dont know what to do. I for one, comprehend that not everyone does the right thing at the right time...and not everyone knows the answers.  Mistakes are the lessons in life, without them life would just be smooth sail straight through and noone would feel anything.  So I too make mistakes, I have made many in my life and learned a great deal of wisdom through quite a few of them.  Some I made more than once, some only once and never ever again...and some I am still making and still wading my way through to find the answer.  Life is ever so complicated but I believe everything youre given in life, you have the strength to handle. So finding clarity is almost impossible.  What is clarity? Clarity in what, life choices? Making amends on past regrets? On mistakes once made? Clarity in the direction of your life?  Cuz no matter how "clear" you think youre life is, the universe can up turn that at any time........ so how do we find "clarity" in life?  I think its a deep overstanding of yourself, from the outside in. And the overstanding that no one in life owes you anything or has any responsibility to make you happy. Everything comes from within, even your spouse is a reflection of you but still will never fully know what goes on within you. You are your own worst enemy and your own best friend simultanously. And to love oneself is the begining of a life long romance (Oscar Wilde).  To truly comprehand such things about life is to truly find clarity in life I believe, but even as a type this I know I have not reached that yet. The concepts are so complex and even now in the chaos of my life, I wonder how much longer I can stick around certain people and let them cloud my clarity.  Eventually I am gonna leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on (Tupac).