BET Hip Hop Awards Hot 16, By- Clas'sick (Prod. By Swizz Beatz)

TORONTO HIP HOP x SWIZZ BEATS HOT 16 - INTRODUCING CLAS'SICK, VIDEO SHOT AND PRODUCED BY JAMALL EARLE.  CAPITOL FADE FILMS X NORTHSTAR VISIONS, MANAGED AND DIRECTED BY HECTOR MONTANA SAVAGE.

SUPPORT THE YOUNG AND MOTIVATED!! ENJOY :)

Suuummmmmmer x LOFT ♥

A smile confuses an approaching frown.- Unknown

"I make being strong look easy, but it is not."

Sometimes I feel like an alien living amongst humans....or maybe I am the human and half of y'all are aliens. Sometimes I feel like I am speaking English to people and its like they are hearing Chinese..... like everything I say goes right over their head. Now the truth remains to be seen, I could be crazy or I could make so much sense, it evens make my own head spin sometimes.

I seem to always be in some kind of emotional pain yet I always appear happy to people (or so people say). I know everything in my life has happened for a specific reason or purpose, that I am exactly who I am meant to be.....and even further, I am EXCITED to see who I will grow into in the future. I have faith in the Universe. (Like some people have faith in God, its all the same to me. When I reference "the universe" or "energy," I am referring to the higher power. I believe God is energy, that lives within us and surrounds us.) And I also, have faith in myself, to make the right choices, to be strong enough to make those tough choices and follow through with them....and ultimately to trust my intuition and follow my heart.  Life is easier said then done but PLEASE BELIEVE I practice what I preach.... (Key word: Practice, not perform.)

Sometimes I wonder about the readers of this blog, something tells me its more haters than lovers. For the simple reason as it is the only form of viral communication expressed through me that is open to the public, so its not surprising that it could become an outlet of expression of what I want people to know about me, not necessarily the real me but the surface layer I want people to see. I do, however make an effort to keep it real. Haters, lovers, friends, family: youre are all welcome.

I lost a friend recently, well more like that friend finally showed me for the umpteenth time what our friendship really is.... nothing.  Whether thats due to me or her is irrelevant at this point.  All I know is that I have learned from the experience, finally: I cannot sacrafice my own sanity to help others survive their emotional rollercoasters................ Sounds simple right? Wrong.  As of today, my circle is getting alot smaller.  There are certain people, and I am sure everyone can relate, that just take up space in your life. Sometimes they add a laugh but mostly they just send hot air your way whenever they feel the need to.  Those people who vent to you their problems becuase your "such a good listener."  It occured to me, after I had a mini meltdown, that I may not have enough strength left to be there for my REAL friends when they need it if I am always helping everyone else.  Not only does that add stress to me but it also distracts me from dealing with my own issues.  In a nutshell, I cant do it anymore.  I owe it to those who do care about and love me to stay strong and be able to be there for them when they need it.  MLC, LMM, JDS ♥

Passion vs. Security?!

So my friends and I are always in constant debate about life issues, recently it has been about love and relationships, specifically passion vs. security and the idea of someone (a lover, potential lover, past lover) making you “weak.”

My close friend is sittin on the fence about her long term relationship and whether its worth continuing or if the fire is dead and its time to move on. So she asks me an oh-so simple, yet incredibly complex question: What’s more important, passion or security (in a relationship)?! I don’t know why my friends insist on coming to me with such deep, philosophical questions especially regarding love and relationships when (by society standards) I don’t seem to be having any success in either departments. My answer came naturally though: passion. Why? Because security isn’t real. Security, especially in a relationship, is a figment of our imaginations. At the end of the day, you can only be grateful for who you have, appreciate lifes blessings as they are offered to you and feel the love surrounding you every day. Love doesn’t take orders, you cannot control it no matter how hard you try. Nobody owes you anything, instead they are choosing to share with you their life and you in return choose to share with them, for as long as you both concur. You cannot hold onto love or make it go away, it just is. Your only job is to trust, give and receive love and let go when the time is right. I cannot tell my friend whether her time is done with this love, only she can answer that. But I hope with all my heart she has the courage to trust the universe and do what her heart tells her - and to remember that the quality of your life is based on the journey, not the end result..

Passion however is one of the blessings that life offers you and allows you too experience. Passion cannot exist without love (in a relationship), nor can you control it, create it or hold onto it - you can simply feel it and appreciate it when its there. Allow the love and passion to penetrate your soul and pass through all the parts of your body, to your finger tips and toes, deep down in you heart, enrich your mind with positive thoughts. Passion is the reason the quote says “it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” It is a gift and we must not taint it with negative feelings that tend to form through an unwillingness to trust and let go at the end. One of my favourite quotes says love is as perennial as the grass, so I say when you let go, you let love grow.

A different friend came to me with some news about a man she “has a weakness for,“ those were her words. She goes on to tell me she had to remove him entirely from her life, knowing that he is not right for her but unable to say no to him. Weakness is something you don’t want mixing with your passion and love. If a person makes you weak, they are taking away from you rather than enriching you, no? So even if that weakness seems inconsequential at the time, it should be viewed and reviewed as a reason to be cautious. Simply put, you don’t want a man to make you weak, you want a man to make you strongER. And it goes both ways, if you see a person is weak to you, its probably best you go in a different direction, at least for now. This seems to be an epidemic in our society these days; weak boys praying on weak girls and raising weak kids that repeat the whole damn cycle. However, everyone can experience this, even the seemingly strongest person you know. This is a topic I have not intellectually explored much yet so I will not write on it too much today but I am elated to once again feel that reassurance of my own trust in the universe, knowing that every experience is a learning experience.

I don’t have everyone’s answers, I can only search for my own meaning. To my friends, thank you and I love you. I cannot say this enough because in times of need you are always there to give me that boost of love and keep me grounded.  Bless you. I mean every word I say.  Cheers to a deeper love ♥

♥

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

"Just because you miss someone doesn't mean youre suppose to be with them."  I have to remind myself of this everyday. The heart break I can deal with, been dealing with.  The forgiveness is there and the moving on part will happen in time..... but its that feeling of genuinely missing someones energy around you that I find the hardest to shake off.  Maybe I am not suppose to shake it off, maybe its lifes way of reassuring that the love was real.  If I didnt miss him, something would be very wrong. Thankfully, in my life, EVERYTHING MAKES ME STRONGER.

Learning - pHoenix Pagliacci

Introducing Pheonix Pagliacci, check out her new video.  Remember her name.

Produced by Ken and Moose
Directed by Rich Kidd
Edited by Javier and Rich Kidd
Written and performed by pHoenix Pagliacci for Loft Vol. 5 Women's Compilation Dropping June 28th, 2011 - in which time the download will be availible at www.loftmusic.bandcamp.com :)

In assosociation with LOFT YCSEI (Youth Centre for Social Enterprise and Innovation) and Christie Ossington Neighbourhood Centre.  The LOFT Music Vol. 5: E.V.E launch party and pHeonix "Learning" video release party on May 27, 2011 was a huge success, thank you to everyone who came out and SUPPORTED LOFT MUSIC. Keep shinin.

FOLLOW @LOFTMUSIC

Homegrown Toronto hip hop.

Love is when time, space and thought are but irrelevant products of pyhsics - Lola

Life is a bitch sometimes but we still gotta love it, its the only option if you really think about it.  Shit happens, you hurt you get over it. You move on..... more shit happens. More pain.  More happiness.  Thats why at the end of the day, you have GOT to relax and enjoy the small things - anything that brings you joy, feel it, revel in it, love it. Love imperfect people perfectly.  Stop waiting for a fairy tale. And never ever hold on to negative feelings, feel them and let them flow away naturally.  Life is too short to be mad, there are no do-overs or second chances (in this lifetime at least).  Sometimes, when you hold on to the past you miss out on the future, sometimes people hurt you but dont mean to, sometimes life doesnt pan out the way you had expected....

There is no rule book to life. This blog post is filtered, fuck it, here is what I really want to say:

I feel like the more I go through life, the more I realize life isnt meant to be lived within the cookie cutter template society provides us.  Society tells us to share as kids, listen to our parents, grow up well and make our parents proud.  Get an education, fall in love, get married.  Have babies.  What a joke.  Seriously?! That shit sounds boring as hell.  Maybe its just my overpowering inner rebel that makes me want to run in the other direction and pray for society and not follow in line but the way I look at it.... societys ways are not workin out all that well so who the fuck are you to tell me how to live.

Were told not to judge people, but then society judges us.  Were told to love people, but when we love more than more person at one time, were percieved as a bad person.  Were told to be "free" but then we are controlled on every possible level.  Society pulls us in from a very young age, through media, through our parents, through school.  And then moulds us into what/who they want to mass produce (a dumbed down version of them perhaps).  They put a shiny layer of pretty paint on it to fool us and then begins to suck the light/love/life out of us year by year.  The show us what they want us to see, but keep the real information hidden. For example, did you know when you sign a marraige contract, the courts have the right to refuse you a divorce?!?! What. The. Fuck.

Do you ever feel like the whole world is waiting for something to happen?  That everyone is miserable but wont do anything about it?  I feel like the world is getting boring...not becuase there isnt enought stimulation for humans, but that there isnt enough stimulation coming into this world through human beings anymore.  People are being flattened and boxed in, both physically and mentally..  I told my best friend the other day (one of the craziest friend I have) "I just want to dance in the rain and have sex on rooftops, is that reeeeeally soo much to ask?!" You know what she said to me in response? "Yea it kinda is, you'll get sick." Wooooaaaaah, was that ever a slap in the face of reality for me....kinda made me wanna slap her in the face, shake her and yell "WAKE UP!!!!!!"  I mean, the statement was somewhat of a joke, but her answer was serious.  Too serious, waaaay too serious.

Life is so complicated.  Anyone who doesnt realize love and pain go hand in hand, hasnt experienced real love or is not aware of it.  Its not to say love should be painful all the time, but to really love someone is to open your heart to them and give them a spray bottle of alcohol......and trust them not to spray.  Every single person in life will hurt you at one point, (whether its your children saying hurtful words they really dont mean in a fit of hormonal rage, or your significant other unknowingly neglecting a feeling you felt was valid) even the ppl who love you the most will hurt you at some point.  So as Bob Marley said, you just have to find the people worth suffering for (and those would be the ones who live their lives trying NOT to hurt you, knowing it may still happen but they give their best efforts to not let that happen).

So I guess what I am getting at is the idea of love, freedom and forgiveness...and that society supports neither.  So what if I want to dance in the rain and have sex on roof tops?! What is so wrong with open, honest, loving relationships?! The simple answer is, people are afraid.  Afraid of what they dont overstand, and afriad of falling apart, in societys standards.  Afraid of being judged and afraid of getting hurt.

So in the words of one of my ladies: fuck a love life, just love your life. Dont worry about what happens next, just love now. I hope everyone has the courage to love....... its the only way to really live.

LOFT Pepsi Refresh Contest - PLS VOTE FOR US!

Hello Beautiful People!

LOFT YCSEI (Life-Opportunity-Food-Technology Youth Centre for Social Enterprise and Innovation) is a community centre for youth in the Christie and Ossington neighbourhood of Toronto.  If you have a few miutes to spare for a good cause (which I KNOW you do, in this generation of twitter, bbm and facebook...everyone has time for stupid updates, you can make time for this), please check out our video and vote for us to win the Pepsi Refresh contest to win $100,000.  Any and all votes are greatly needed and appreciated.  You can vote once a day.  Thank you and GOOD life.

http://www.refresheverything.ca/loft