That everything that has happened in my life was exactly what was suppose to happen. The drugs, the abuse, the betrayal.... all horrible things at the time were blessings in disguise but we often have trouble seeing the sunshine through the rain at the present time. But I knew from the moment that pregnancy test showed those two lines, no matter how many foolish people surrounded me I knew everything was gonna be okay..
I didnt overstand at the time the way of the world and how much easier life is when you give up your power to the power of the universe sometimes. Thats where the quote "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" really comes to life. I feel serene, courageous and wise. Thanks to the bullshit and turmoil I have been through. I used to try so hard to make things happen the way I wanted them to... but as soon as I began to let go of that, the universe took over and somehow I ended back on track. Even though I was on track the whole time, because that is what created my beautiful son who was always meant to be. I knew he was going to be from the moment I met my sons father. All the BS aside, my son was conceived with true genuine love and passion and that is what he represents in the world now. He has a heart shaped birth mark over his right upper chest area....its like he has two hearts, one inside and one outside.
The drugs, the abuse, the betrayal were all present. However, the uncondiontional love from my family and most importantly my friends overpowered all the negativity of people trying to bring to me and bring me down with. My friends are the most important people to me in the world, after my son. I have the upmost respect and love for my friends, and gratitude for them putting up with me at times! Lol.... I can be a difficult person but if I wasnt worth it, my life wouldnt be so rich with amazing people. I feel so blessed to have who I have in my life. And I thank each and everyone of them for being who they are. I dont need to name any names because they know who they are and I show them often that I appreciate them. And I have the best friend anyone could ever ask for in the world. I love you all, even those few friends I have lost for now. You know who you are, I still feel your friendship even from far away.... Stay true to yourself and LOVE.
"Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality."
If you rely too much on other peoples opinions, it can have a way of tainting your own view of yourself. You are the only one who can know whats best for you and what makes you who you are. Life has a way of unfolding exactly the way its suppose to..... however sometimes we, as human as we all are, think its going the wrong way. If you are clean in your heart and pure in your thoughts then life will treat you fair, as far as the uncontrollable aspects of life go. However, what goes around does come back around so be careful what you put out there. I am, everyday of my life.
Words I feel, deep down.. to the deep part that burns with passion.
You know the one i'm talking about..
The place where music comes from..
The place where art comes from..
The place where your vision meets your intensity and becomes a passion.
The place where love lives.
"I believe that everything you do bad comes back to you. So everything that I do that's bad, I'm going to suffer for it. But in my heart, I believe what I'm doing is right. So I feel like I'm going to heaven." (Tupac Shakur)
All I wanna say is THEY DONT REALLY CARE ABOUT US. Period, end of discussion. If you think the police and policitians are really on our side, youre are living in A box...the one they created for you, and apparently you fell in!
This post isnt even inspiried by this song at all, its just one of my favorite songs and I listen to it often. It also was on my mind, after the recent event that happened in Toronto (that people seem to be forgetting ALREADY!). The death of a young individual named Junior Alexander Manon, an 18-year old man (or boy, he was so young..) who was brutally beaten to death by Toronto Police on May 5.
This is an article published in the news the day after..
"Running from the police is not a crime punishable by death in Canada. Yet this is the sentence 18-year-old Junior Alexander Manon received on the evening of May 5, 2010 when he ran from the police near York University in Toronto. And by looks of what became of the young Dominican teenager, it’s no surprise that youth like him run when confronted by Toronto police.
Around 6:30pm, Manon jumped out of a car and fled police after a random pull-over on Founders Road and Steeles. Police claim that Manon spontaneously collapsed and died of a heart attack while trying to run from them, despite witness testimonies and a pool of blood to suggest otherwise.
A witness on the scene and another passenger of the vehicle reported that: “They beat him up, he was on the floor, he wasn’t resisting. Two officers on him, punching him in the face, one kicking him in the ribs… And then five more come and jump on him… He’s not that big for seven boy’dem [cops] to be on him like that.”
Choked by her own tears, Junior’s sister Amanda Manon reported to Global News that “there was blood all over the place – he was struggling. It was a painful death, a painful death.”
The emergency call placed by the police indicated that “a man without vital signs was in need of assistance”, reported Global. Manon was later taken to York-Finch hospital where he was pronounced dead upon arrival.
The case is now being handled by the Special Investigations Unit – the supposedly “civilian agency” that oversees the police, but in actuality is heavily staffed by ex-cops, and has a nearly flawless record of exonerating officers who have killed persons in their custody. Not a single officer has ever been convicted of criminal charges for the killing of persons of their custody, despite handling more than 30 such cases since its inception.
With the SIU involved, conveniently the police are not required make a public comment on Manon’s death.
The family reported that Manon’s neck was in a brace, and that his face had exhibited signs of serious beating.
Toronto’s corporate-monopoly media has been widely circulating the story that Manon dropped dead of a heart attack, whitewashing and overshadowing the details provided by direct witnesses (see CityNews and Global Toronto). Perhaps worst of all was the Toronto Star's reporting, which said today that "Paramedics arrived at the scene to find the man with no visible injuries...". In what should constitute criminal complicity, the mainstream media is de facto providing cover for the cops until the public forgets this outrageous but not so surprising act of police terror.
There's no doubt that the Jane-Finch community, where Junior was from and was widely known, will mobilize against this outrageous killing of one of their youth. "
Written by Steve da Silva for BasicNews.ca
My sincerest, deepest condolences go to his mother, his family and his friends. I imagine there are no words to explain how it feels to lose a child, and even less overstandment for those whom have no children. I feel for this family, especially his mother and it outrages me that this kind of thing is allowed to happen. The police are the biggest organized gang in Toronto, its no fuckin wonder he ran away from them. The Toronto Police department is shameful, I have lived here 22 years and NEVER ONCE have they come to my aid in any situation, nor do they make me feel at all safe. However, I have seen first hand, my share of brutality from police (never on myself however, for I am a young white female, they dont bother me.. CHA!), from a friend being beaten up and robbed and left almost to die, to a homeless bum not harming anyone and the police hop out of their car (that WE, tax payers paid for) and introduce the bottom half of the "stick" (or baton, whatever you call it, again that we paid for) to his face, to cops trying to charge someone knowing VERY WELL that he wasnt apart of it - they just want him locked up for personal, pychologically fucked up reasons. I caught the homeless beating on tape and sent it in, but oooffffcourse they didnt show it... the news channels are in on it too! Police officers are corrupted and that is becuase we have such low standards, its easier to become a police officer than it is to work for the TTC!!! And on top of that, when you give a "man" power, he abuses it and this is what is happening. And they dont "snitch", its funny how you see 6 - 8 police and abulance workers but noone knows what really happened! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. How do those ambulance workers sleep at night...there job is to save lives, but they watch this and allow it to happened. Why werent they stepping in to save his life after the first punch.
If you think what I am saying is preposterous, go do some research and look into it. You'll find a big ass closet full of skeletons they got locked up in there. How do I raise my son to not trust police officers, but also to stay out of their way and not get locked up. They want young black men locked up. Think about it, the ONLY FREE HEALTH CARE in the US is IN THE JAILS....... funny how that works out. They want us alive and locked up ...or killing eachother - and that right there NEEDS TO STOP. Allow me to remind you how Martin Luther King Jr. put it: "An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." That means we need to stop fightin over stupid shit (excuse my informalness) and start becoming better people and focus on raising our children..which in turn will create a better, safer world for everyone to live in. "Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better." We have the power. I know it sounds cliche but it is the truth.
RIP JUNIOR ALEXANDER MANON
P.S. Not even mentioning, poor Micheal Jacksons story. RIP to MJ, one of the greatest artists, musicians and souls to cross our earth... he was SO great that his family got envious and corrupted him! They sucked the black out of him, bleached him and raped him for everything.. his childhood, his adulthood, his dignity, his money, his family..just to name a few. But still he tried to rise and continued to fight for his rights... the little boy who had acccuesd him of molestation cleared his name after he died..... His story is heartbreaking and so is history in general. REMEMBER HIM FOR THE BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING PERSON THAT HE WAS AND LET HIM LIVE FOREVER THROUGH HIS MUSIC. ONELOVE TO MJ.
Theres a saying that says "everytime a door closes, a window opens" but people are usually too busy lookin at the closed door to feel the beautiful breeze comin through the window....
"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love – for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment is it perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you from misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful, strive to be happy."
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -- Mark Twain
Guru has passed away yesterday morning after a long battle with cancer. We are slowly losing all the greats, meanwhile mind-dumbing crap is in full produciton these days. Hip hop aint dead, its just becoming history...never let go of that history, hold on tight and breathe. RIP Gangstarr and thank you for your faithful service to the greater good of hip hop music. Onelove and blessings.
